However, for some strange reason, today I'm smiling. Dare I say calm? Despite hearing that famous bag of plastic play food being spilled all over the floor in the next room... Now all the Zingo cards are being emptied out on the table. The basement is a mess -- balls and dollies strewn all over, the Elmo potty upturned and a headless Barbie doll among other naked dolls adorn the stairs. The funk of Payton's pants lingers, since only a few minutes before she went down for a nap she destroyed her diaper down there.
But as I listen to the twins gab to each other about their tea party, the conversation abruptly switches to Play-doh and then to dessert. I'm happy thinking how lucky I am to witness this day, to be alive with these little people and to enjoy their innocence and harmless, precious play.
A little bit ago Mia asked me if she and Téa could put on their dresses (which I usually just reserve for church or special things) and I told her, 'sure' -- this is very unlike me.
|Priority #4, the stinkpot|
She says to "sacrifice your peace for their fun, your clean kitchen floor for their help cracking eggs, your quiet moment for their long retelling of a dream that a friend of theirs had... Prioritize your children far and away above the other work you need to get done. They are the only part of your work that really matters."
Please, Lord let me embrace this advice, as it really is hard work for me!
Yesterday, after quite a bit of yelling and frustration (drama), Mia said, "I want a new mom."
I know a lot of kids say this, but it hurts to already be hearing this at age 4. I realized I am the only mom she's going to have, and I better make this a good life for my kids.
It's sad that I have to read self-help mothering books or look for inspiring quotes on Pinterest in order to be energized for a day at home with the kids.
I need to "re-promise" myself literally every day that I will try and do better - that I will yell less, play more, love more, be present more. Asking forgiveness each night for NOT doing these things just isn't cutting it anymore and it's not helping my kids either. Time truly is running out on me, each day they get one step farther from me as they grow into these "big" people! The other day, Mia said, "Mom, if me and Téa are going to be rock stars, we're going to need some high heels." (So I guess I need to worry about shoe prices soon, too).
Téa has been doing this thing lately where she clicks her mouth and points at you, and it's really hysterical because nobody taught it to her (we think she got it from a Pixar movie), but it makes me smile, it makes me laugh. Sometimes she does it out of the blue, at an odd time, totally out of context, but it seems that it's always when I need it. When I need to step back, breathe in and relax. It really is going to be ok.
In a few weeks we are driving the kids to Florida for spring break -- this is our first road trip outside of visiting my family four hours away in South Bend -- so I'm going to need a lot of prayers (and a lot of lollipops, snacks, DVDs and video games)! I am vowing here, to do my best to "let go" and be calm. Instead of being that angry, frazzed, anal road trip mother of yesterday, I'm going to organize my priorities accordingly - Brayden, Mia, Téa and Payton!