Kentucky Mom to Twins and More

Friday, May 20, 2016

Can I just get a do-over?

The kids are all in bed. The day has been long - my husband left for a guys trip so it's single mother city over here.

Donuts never saw me coming.
My breathing feels heavy and my legs are almost numb. I'm realizing today's exhaustion is due to the fact that my body's intake today consisted of: a caramel hot chocolate, approximately three donuts during the breakfast / lunch hour, one slice of pizza at the preschool picnic this afternoon, my kid's leftover mac and cheese at dinner and a vanilla vodka martini with a splash of Baileys to celebrate another bedtime in the books. Ok, and a Toblerone chocolate bar.

But I go to bed knowing at least the kids are alive. I saw them eat a couple pieces of watermelon and at least three of them had bites of a carrot at dinner time, albeit covered in Hidden Valley Ranch. They thought I was mother of the year when I told them they could bring the classroom bunny home for the weekend (a bunny is a great distraction ploy for a mother who needs to get mounds of laundry and ironing done). I let them eat popcorn during the movie tonight even though they were not allowed on the couch with it.

I got them in bed with the minimum number of books before I crashed in my bed to a beckoning playlist of Modern Family episodes. No, I am not very proud of today. I definitely could have used a do-over at least by the time lunch rolled around. I pray I live to see the morning despite the fat grams I tore up today. I pray tomorrow will be better. It has to be - not just for my kids but at least for the sake of the Entenmanns ailse at the grocery store.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Kudos to all the moms just keeping them alive!

Happy Mother's Day to the hardworking moms out there. Or as I will refer to it here as Happy Keeping Them Alive and Fed For One More Day Day.

I was asked the other day about whether I felt like I was being a good mom. I appreciate my friend asking me this, because I realize I'm really not. I know it's all been done before and there are mothers doing this with far more children than me, but being mom to four is work. I feel like most days I'm trying to get through one more meal, one more piano practice, one more session of stupid third-grade math homework, one more bath/toothbrushing ritual. One more bedtime.

Another day with twin goofballs...
I see these seemingly wonderful, loving, crafty Pinterest mothers out there and I read blog posts that make me cry because they preach about these loving, gentle and humble days of being a mother... and it leaves me wondering what happened to me?
I feel guilty because honestly most days I'm counting down til 5 p.m. when it's ok to have a drink. I'm listening for the garage door to open at 6 p.m. when my husband comes home as my reinforcement for the night (at which time one of the kids may say, "ask dad because mommy's off duty.") I'm waiting for one of the other moms around here to declare a moms night out for (any milestone) which gives me an excuse to tell my husband I'm needed for $5 martini night at Bonefish.

Right now I'm finding my kudos in little things -- things most good mothers know automatically. Like we don't leave the house without wet wipes or Kleenex, because that would be stupid. We usually have a few crayons in our purse if we are out somewhere and our little people get restless. We carry snacks with us or in the car because you never know when you need to avert a noon-time hunger meltdown. We know that sometimes having a spare pair of kids socks in the glovebox is not bizarre, but an essential item that no doubt will be needed unexpectedly. We know that it doesn't hurt to bring our kids' teachers donuts on a random school day or bake them brownies (they don't call them brownie points for nothing, right?) We are able to make mental notes of things our kids freak out about - like how badly they want crap they see in a drugstore (Beanie boos) and we know to come back later to buy it as a birthday or Christmas gift to hide away.

One day last week when I was so exhausted and unmotivated to cook or do anything, I threw the kids in the car and took them out for chili hot dogs and frozen yogurt after. One of the twins grinned with ice cream covering her mouth and said, "this is the best night ever, mom!" Wow. My idea of a FAIL was a score for them. People tell me, enjoy the little moments. I know instead of trying to rush through my moments each day I should be smiling, laughing and cherishing them like those f-ing Pinterest moms. It's just hard when you're in it, when each moment demands all your energy. Especially when you're running on pbj crusts and a leftover Capri Sun.

I know we all have moments where the days run together and they are long and exhausting, but I'm realizing my reward is in the little things - someone telling me how polite my son is or how helpful the twins are to other children at school, or even how my little 3-year-old grabs my cheeks in church and says, "I just wuv you momma!"

So kudos to all you moms keeping those precious people alive for one more day! Now go fix a drink for yourself. It's 5 o'clock on Mother's Day.