tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post2555168176511318382..comments2024-01-11T23:06:19.101-07:00Comments on Andrea Remke, writer: To the woman who scoffed at me and my kids tonight Andrea Remke, writerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-43964335582906899972018-01-14T20:47:35.329-07:002018-01-14T20:47:35.329-07:00Thank you so much for this. You get it. Some days ...Thank you so much for this. You get it. Some days I don’t know how I’m going to get up and face everything, do everything and still put on a face for everyone in the world. Yes, thank you for telling me I can do it and it’s possible. <br />Thanks for finding me and reading🙏<br />Andrea <br />Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-20092569181423103022018-01-14T17:20:07.910-07:002018-01-14T17:20:07.910-07:0017 yrs later and still standing strong. Be encoura...17 yrs later and still standing strong. Be encouraged widows/single moms/widowers/single fathers. I know that it’s hard when one hear that their loved one is gone. Everything just flash in front of your face... the thought of doing things alone... what about the children... what about me... if it had not been for the lord, I wouldn’t have made it. Having small children made me stronger and we grew closer as an already close family. We clung closer to out father and he brought us through. We had our good days and we had our bad days but we got through hem. Try not to focus on the stares and then whispers. Who cares what they think. Just exhaust your energy in what’s important...you and your babies. People will be who they are until they get a taste of the unexpected...life changing...life altering situations... but if they don’t...god bless them. <br /><br />Right now I know you might can’t see pass the second but know that you will get through this. Now my children are grown and two have graduated from college and the baby is on her third year. People look at me and tell me “you did a wonderful job being a single mother”. I tell trhem “it was all god”. When I didn’t know how I was going to pick my head up from my pillow...god was there. When I couldn’t do anything but cry all day... he was there. In due season he turned my tears of mourning into tears of joyous memories of my husband. I know my husband looking down saying “he is so proud of the young man and young women the children have become”. Stay encouraged because your days will get brighter in due season. Our children are stronger than what we may think. Love on one another and help one another through this difficult grieving process. May god bless all of the widows/single moms and widowers/single dads. We can and will make it. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15334327840111787990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-85112697812709702422018-01-13T20:58:03.291-07:002018-01-13T20:58:03.291-07:00thanks very much for your kind words! - Andreathanks very much for your kind words! - AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-13029576696060928952018-01-13T20:57:11.036-07:002018-01-13T20:57:11.036-07:00Love it. thanks so much for reading;-)Love it. thanks so much for reading;-)Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-83265435120688644362018-01-13T20:56:23.079-07:002018-01-13T20:56:23.079-07:00Wow thanks very much for these kind words. I will ...Wow thanks very much for these kind words. I will take all the positive vibes I can get- especially from loving strangers halfway around the world! thanks for reading, AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-90847077411997551512018-01-13T20:54:44.612-07:002018-01-13T20:54:44.612-07:00Thanks very much Donna. Just taking it a day at a ...Thanks very much Donna. Just taking it a day at a time. Thanks so much for reading. AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-2160805348150196632018-01-12T07:06:56.203-07:002018-01-12T07:06:56.203-07:00Am shocked at how judgemental people are. These da...Am shocked at how judgemental people are. These days there are many single parents. Very sorry to read about your loss. Stay as strong as you can for your children and take one small step at a time. Join support groups and people who will encourage and help you through the tough times. It will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful family. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-78105306175714397462018-01-10T00:14:56.523-07:002018-01-10T00:14:56.523-07:00I'm reading this in Australia - a long way a w...I'm reading this in Australia - a long way a way, but sending you massive cuddles.<br />Be strong. xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-13257969889304344302018-01-07T15:49:22.102-07:002018-01-07T15:49:22.102-07:00You my darling are a strong, intelligent, beautifu...You my darling are a strong, intelligent, beautiful mum!! Problem is there are more painful, dickheads in the world than caring gorgeous people xxx Maybe its just that the dickheads standout more?? But stay strong your children will grow up knowing how much you and their dad loved them. My mum was widowed with 5 kids, at the time the oldest was 17 and the youngest 11. Hard to believe but the grief made us all stronger we could have gone all sorts of bad ways but we didn't!! Because of the strength of our mum and believe me we sure pushed her to her limits. But hang in there and stay strong if not for your kids but for you because you are the most important thing in yours and their lives xxxx love love love to you all xxxxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-81985627215806715912018-01-07T11:23:20.151-07:002018-01-07T11:23:20.151-07:00I've been a single mother and I've been a ...I've been a single mother and I've been a widow, but not at the same time. As a society in general, we have become very judgmental. It saddens me but even more, I worry for the next generation seeing this as an example for how they should be. Keep doing your best and loving your little ones. They will be gone before you know it, grown into adults with their own lives.Donna B. McNicolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15209611782116113024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-38400435773040466642018-01-05T07:41:21.735-07:002018-01-05T07:41:21.735-07:00Well said, thanks so much for sharing. Sorry to he...Well said, thanks so much for sharing. Sorry to hear of your loss too. It is more grief than I thought I could handle, especially when it comes to the childrens' questions. I hope you are right that everything will be ok for them someday. Meantime, hang in there too.<br />Regards to you and your family, Andrea;-)<br />Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-75474567049211349372018-01-05T07:38:22.209-07:002018-01-05T07:38:22.209-07:00Thanks for your kind words Robin, happy new year. ...Thanks for your kind words Robin, happy new year. AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-43632915023389519042018-01-05T07:37:35.471-07:002018-01-05T07:37:35.471-07:00Thanks so much for reading;-)Thanks so much for reading;-)Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-56920688621221325452018-01-05T07:37:12.645-07:002018-01-05T07:37:12.645-07:00Thanks for your kind words! Especially in the face...Thanks for your kind words! Especially in the face of ugly comments I get online! ;-(Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-72899027302086158582018-01-05T07:35:26.079-07:002018-01-05T07:35:26.079-07:00Thanks for sharing;-(
I appreciate your sentiments...Thanks for sharing;-(<br />I appreciate your sentiments!<br />AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-2693784970145413362018-01-05T07:34:38.188-07:002018-01-05T07:34:38.188-07:00Thanks for reading, I appreciate your thoughts too...Thanks for reading, I appreciate your thoughts too. AndreaAndrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-3080479363492601112018-01-05T07:33:45.150-07:002018-01-05T07:33:45.150-07:00Thanks so much, I appreciate that. Thanks for read...Thanks so much, I appreciate that. Thanks for reading too;-)Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-85709761128753774172018-01-05T07:33:05.306-07:002018-01-05T07:33:05.306-07:00Thanks Sarah! I'm trying;-)Thanks Sarah! I'm trying;-)Andrea Remke, writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14423481043738037584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-77659460045858899052018-01-05T01:56:59.315-07:002018-01-05T01:56:59.315-07:00Hi Kentucky mom,
I am sorry about what happened. ...Hi Kentucky mom, <br />I am sorry about what happened. I am a new widow trying to balance everything.2 yrs ago l buried 2 people who meant the world to me (my mom and husband). The heartache is far beyond any word can explain. As a wife l wish he had given me the last advice, given me signs he wasnt going to make it. My family lives thousand miles away, l keep telling myself l have to be strong. l have to do whats best for my twin boys who just turned 5 and my 11 yr old girl who misses daddy so much. The boys were just 2 &have vivid memory of dad. Holidays are the worst days for us,Sunday the coldest day,as Sunday was family time & daddy cooking day.l fight with my emotions everyday but l remind myself that my kids only got me. Our 1st christmas was devastating,No christmas tree was,up, couldn't afford toys for them, was depressed, sad.So l took my kids out for dinner, seeing family together brought back memories & reality sank in, l excused myself & asked my daughter to keep an eye on the twin as l went to the restroom,in there l cried, this old lady who had been eyeing us, came in & said your children are well behaved are you a single mom, of which l said NO. I am a widow (I didn't want being labelled)and tears just rolled even more. She said oh am sorry you are so young to be a widow(those remarks didn't make me feel better)she spoke with me for a while and left.Never once did l think in my life l will be a widow or raising my children alone,we had plans but everything changed. He had promised he will get better and will be home.<br /><br />It is tough. I have to take my kids everywhere l go,when its cold, raining. l decided to go back to school this fall, it's been tough, l have had major breakdown and anxiety.l drive 30mins each morning to the daycare and 50mins to school. l sometimes have had to take my daughter to school with me kn some days. My old car has broken down causing expense, l had not planned for, it's tough carrying all this emotions,it's tough being strong,the constant stares & those who ask between the twins which one is the bad twin? Well l don't know and what does that even mean?My daughter dealt with one kid who decided to pick on her,had to be a phone call away everyday for her. Need to encourage you, give yourself all the time you need to mourn and cry, never apologize for how you are feeling. There is no time period for mourning,until someone walks the same path we are, they will never understand. Let your kids be kids, they go to a restaurant if ipad brings them joy, let them bring them. <br /><br />It's a tough road being a widow and with young kids who sometimes out of nowhere,They will say "mommy l miss my daddy or l want my daddy back". I have learnt not to say "l know how you feel coz l don't think l totally do'l am still struggling with mine.On the other hand l have instead learn to give them long hugs and say "l am here for you,we will get through this,l will listen to what you have to say and we can talk about it."<br /><br />People will talk, you wear your wedding band, they question where is her man? Why is she all alone with the kids? Without the band they still will find something to say. We can only do what we know best,be mums to our adorable kids. I am still trying to navigate through this new phase of my life. All l know one day all will be well. So proud of you for keeping cook and focusing on your lovely adorable kids. Take care and from one widow to another, we will be alright and our kids will be alright, they might not have daddy around, but they sure have wonderful moms who will move mountains for them and will help them with every step they make, we will be there for every mile stones of their life cheering On.<br /><br />To those quick to judge or uncomfortable. We apologize in advance if our kids happen to bump on you during breakfast, lunch or dinner,it's never intentional,sorry for the scream and arguments you might overhear coming from our tables. We are trying to stay afloat and hope you understand. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-59390135803104479922018-01-04T14:12:55.373-07:002018-01-04T14:12:55.373-07:00Dear Kentucky Mom of twins and more, I read your n...Dear Kentucky Mom of twins and more, I read your note about the couple who watched you and your kids at dinner and it brought back memories of my childhood. My father died a few days before my 12 birthday my mom had 6 kids and was expecting number 7. She had many many times where she got those looks and comments but she stayed strong and stayed the course. As we grew up we all started to spot these things and became very protective of mom and the family, we today an extremely close family I talk to my mom and all my siblings several times a week and see most of them at least monthly. Holiday's and all special occasions we all get together its wonderful. Hang in there you and your kids are blessed to have each other! My heart and prayers go out to all of you! RobinRobinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-73023936188172316732018-01-03T22:07:29.906-07:002018-01-03T22:07:29.906-07:00So sorry to hear of your loss. God bless you and y...So sorry to hear of your loss. God bless you and your children. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10069511193733525825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-51032417485696137492018-01-03T19:26:53.364-07:002018-01-03T19:26:53.364-07:00You have a beautiful family. I wish I could have t...You have a beautiful family. I wish I could have told you that night. I try to give an encouraging word when I see a young family. Hopefully more of us will do this more and not the judgmental attitude you and others do not deserve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-45924080998754220312018-01-03T19:23:04.577-07:002018-01-03T19:23:04.577-07:00Reading this just pulled at my heart - my mother w...Reading this just pulled at my heart - my mother was widowed at age 36, after 16 years of marriage. She was left with the three of us to raise, my sister, brother and I. At times her distress and pain were almost unbearable, and there were many tough moments. But always, always, it was kids first - we were her reason to get up every day and keep moving. 51 years later, we are as close as can be, having pulled together even more as we navigated our way through our grief at losing our beautiful mom a few years ago. We were completely devoted to her, just as she had shown us her complete devotion. My heart goes out to you in this journey you are on, and I hope, with time, that moments of joy will ease your pain and grief, as they did for my mom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-12100431092012474652018-01-03T18:26:50.440-07:002018-01-03T18:26:50.440-07:00I just read your post and couldn't help but cr...I just read your post and couldn't help but cry. I can't even imagine how you must feel. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. May your kids and happy memories keep you smiling. Take care.Momof2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01795525749800787189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8394267539482200525.post-63417402888839138682018-01-03T18:14:42.154-07:002018-01-03T18:14:42.154-07:00You have a beautiful family and all of you are in ...You have a beautiful family and all of you are in my prayers. However you are handling all of this, know that you are doing it right. You can see it on your children’s faces. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16920574060927368150noreply@blogger.com